Christmas the season of perpetual hope!

I started to notice a trend over the years between the holidays and I. Maybe it's because I'm in my 30's and I'm starting to become so wise or that I'm constantly surrounded by wise people. It's probably the latter for sure but I have become quite the reflector lately. Christmas you and I have issues. 

You see ever since I was a little girl I remember being extra anxious around Christmas. Maybe it's because year after year I watched my family life deteriorate in front of me with no real idea how to stop it. In my house in the same week there could be a neighborhood full of people watching football on Sunday to a knockdown bloody fight between my mother and stepdad and a regular visit from the local police on Monday. Maybe it's because some Christmas's were super happy, like the year I woke up to a LIFE SIZE cutout of Garth Brooks in my living room! In the early 90's kids this was a HUGE deal!

Sparing the messier details, my life started with mom, then with mom and stepdad, then just mom, then with mom going to jail. One of the last Christmas's with my mother was when we took a trip to the local mall which was a nice getaway from the place we were crashing in at the time. Buying my own gifts with a few of her dollars sure did take the surprise out of opening them on Christmas Day. Bah Humbug I thought. I did however stretch those dollars as far as I could to get myself a new outfit. Every time we shuffled houses or crappy hotels I lost some piece of my old life until towards the end of my life with her I had only one outfit with me. As a teenager that's kind of a big deal. 

I'll never forget our first Christmas without my mom. One one hand it was scary not knowing what to expect and scary starting life as you know it over, especially when you are a teenager. On the other hand it was kind of a relief without all the turmoil. So I did what I thought all families do for Christmas, I made my brothers and I take a family photo! We didn't have a lot of dollars but I knew $9.99 got you like 50 pictures at Walmart and those would make damn fine gifts. Not sure if the boys were super pumped about the photoshoot but they let me have my way and I loved them for it. That was one of the greatest gifts I ever set my eyes on. It was like living proof staring right back at me that even in the worst of moments it helps to smile a little or at least just try to.

I spent the next 10 years bouncing from someones idea of a happy Christmas to the next, all the while feeling as if I didn't belong in their Christmas story. I started to wonder if I'd ever have a happy one of my own again. In all my reflection over Christmas's past I  see that like everyone else, I can enjoy searching for the perfect gifts. Little things that make the people I care about smile. I learned from watching my mothers mistakes too. Robbing from Peter to pay Paul is not worth the big screen TV that will end up being seized along with your other belongings if you don't pay for them and I vowed to never buy anything I couldn't afford.Christmas isn't about spending the most dollars you can until you're broke and homeless. It's about spending your time and your energy celebrating and loving whatever life you have and hoping that in the new year the things you'd like to be better will be. 

So this year for Christmas I have someone who really loves me to wake up with. A really beautiful tree we decorated with lots of love and eggnog. I have an amazing city that I can call home with a circle of friends that make me feel like the happy little elf I was meant to be. Now I can wait for my personal favorite present, a new year! A new season full of hopes and endless possibilities just waiting for me. 

Touchdowns and Sunsets

" It's 5 o' clock in the morning ....conversation got boring." No Lilly Allen playing , just me wide awake at 5 am . At first I'm my usual hyper self then hours go by and I'm annoyed .I can not fall asleep. Big day tomorrow. Hell everyday is a big day lately. After creating chalkboard inspiration to picking up material for a new desk to seeing tons of clients, tweeting, FBing, emailing, you name it I should be tired .I stop .I put my perfect tiny computer down and I stop. I realize I again forgot to eat dinner.

Life has literally been throwing me Peyton Manning style passes this year . Some of them catchable and BOOM there's me high steppin my way into the end zone #Touchdown .Some I'm running my route and shit I'm too far out... incompletion. My play books are out now I gotta know the ratio of completions I've been making. Well really it's a collection of 3 notebooks, an iPhone , my MacBook and me searching everywhere that makes no sense to find the idea I knew I had written down , that for sure I wrote down!

I looked at all the ideas ,all the things I had ever wanted or wished for . Create my own business (check). Have a few very BEST girlfriends to rely on that are fabulous in their own right(check). Have a room with a view (check but minus one for the mugging incident ). Travel to places I had only heard about...hellloo ...Lake Tahoe,LA ,San Diego, Hollywood,Vegas (check double check check )! Amie teased me with every pic I sent "Dang are you Beyonce ?" I said screw it this year and told myself self ,work hard play hard dammit. After looking over all the evidence in front of me I was shocked to find more.I had to make a pot of coffee. 

I've moved to the balcony at this point .It's 6am and there's a luscious sunset brewing I might as well enjoy it . Holy hell I see it ! The cause of all my sleeplessness and anxiety ! It's happiness and it's about to make me it's B*&ch!  Happiness is now running at me like a linebacker ,full speed all ,6" 2 of it. My favorite summer memory was chasing sunsets with an incredibly fine man with charm and a heart for days . #sacked # LawrenceTaylorstyle 

I turn my chair to face east. It is SO close to being a perfect sunrise and I'm awake to see it all because my little brain wouldn't power down tonight . I'm pretty excited now ! I look to my right and see my reflection in my sweet floor to ceiling windows and realize I'm in my underwear. Bursts of laughter ensue. " I'm in my 30's it's my sexy body and I do what I want ," I say to my reflection as I look to the high rise across for peeping toms. 

It's 7 am now and the light from the sun in shining on the water in unbelievable shades of pink (my 3g camera is doing this spectacle no justice). Through the sunrise and the fading of the night sky into a new day I see the flaws in my playbook. I have everything I could ever  wanted and things are getting better every.single.day. I'm not taking enough time to slow dance, maybe challenge a call or two and risk being penalized to see true happiness is staring me in the face.I have be the one passing the ball now.  !( I know it's a lot of football talk, sorry just how my brain relates things). 

I always preach true success is not how much you accomplish but how much you help others to accomplish. So I'm on a mission to do just that . Details coming soon , positive vibes are always appreciated. Until later I'm off  it's 7:40 and I got some urban hiking to do.



Stay Golden,
Jenny

Hellooooo lovers....

Hellllooo lovers... It’s February and we know what the hottest topic is, yup you guessed it ~ love . Now I’m no expert in that department but I do know a thing or two about boosting your confidence , which can only help in your journey down lover’s lane.

Let’s talk tans. With all the evidence linking UV exposure to cancer and premature aging people are finally embracing the beauty of spray tanning. I have experienced every orange, streaky, smelly, and splotchy spray tan possible. I’m here to tell you that your walk into the office doesn’t have to be a walk of spray tan shame. I hear this all the time “I don’t want everyone to know I’ve tanned, I just want a nice glow.” The following visit, that same client is telling me how her whole office couldn’t believe she had a spray tan that really looks real! We high-five and I have a friend for life because I used my education , passion,and experience to give her the best spray tan possible.

The trick for you my friends is simple. Find a skilled pro preferably with a degree in skin studies. No skin or body is the same and no tan should be. A true professional will know exactly why clients turn orange and how to prevent it. A pro will know how to prevent streaks ,unpleasant smells, stop splotchy fading , among many other things. You should leave your spray tan experience with extra sass in your step, a hair flip, and feeling 10 lbs thinner in minutes. Lets’s face it I hear this every day too “tan fat just looks better than pale fat.” So, get out there and try getting golden people ! Just once at the hands of a real pro and you’ll be hooked. Who knows, it may lead you to that valentines date where sparks fly. If not you’ll look damn good searching for your true love. Until next time sweet tarts..

Stay Golden,

Jenn Dieas of Golden Girl Chicago